how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
