Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Your penis caused this!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
