I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
