Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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