Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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