So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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