Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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