So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
