somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Dignity is for republicans.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Woke up backwards on a recliner
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
