we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
