Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize