Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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