when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
