I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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