Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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