It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
