I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
