she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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