im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
