Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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