ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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