Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I have post one night stand depression
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