hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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