whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
