At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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