just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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