he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize