She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
