I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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