i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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