just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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