I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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