just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
