he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
