So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
People in love make me want to vomit
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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