We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
