Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
