My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
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