TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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