YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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