My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
