Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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