Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.