Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
