True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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