Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
