my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
