I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I am available for nakedness
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
