so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
