lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
