This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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