I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
