oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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