shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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