hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
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