Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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