This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
