You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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