maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
