hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
