I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
what ever happened to devon sawa?
i'm really worried about him.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
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So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
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the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect