there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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