on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
