We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
