just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
